Much Ado About Kurt Hummel
by downtowndystopia
Summary: Five months ago Kurt professed his love for Blaine, but He didn;t feel the same way, now they constantly fight and their friends & family are tired of it.So they make a plan to set them up. Based on Shakespeare's play. its not ooc or very au. crossoverish
1. Prologue

So this is a modernized glee version of Much Ado About Nothing. I can see why you might not want to give it a chance, but i've always wanted to modernize shakespeare. There is some gender bending in this to help the story along. so here it is First things first: the character list

Beatrice (a male in this story)- Kurt

Benedick- Blaine

Claudio-Finn

Hero- Rachel

Don Pedro- Artie

Leonato- Burt

Margaret- Quinn

Borachio- Puck

Don John-

Constanzia- Santana

Ursula- Brittany

Dogberry- Sam

Verges- Mike

Tina is just Tina.

Lauren is just Lauren

Same with the other characters.

So this is going to go by each scene ok? awesome Have fun with the modernized au klaine crossover fic that this is..


	2. act 1 scene 1

"Kurt! The boys are going to be back soon from their gig in Columbus... Columbus!... Kurt, don't try to pretend you're not just as excited as i am to see how they did" snaps Rachel.

"I heard there was a hail storm, did Blaine make it alright? I hope a hail stone didn't hit him in the head. The last thing that boy needs is another few iq points knocked off.." said Kurt with noticeable agitation, so maybe he cared if Blaine was safe, he'd never admit it.

"I just got off the phone with Mike" said Tina. "They were fine, they got to the van before the storm even started. Come on, Kurt Blaine's a handsome, rich, nice guy. the girls loved him so much on the show that he did two 't be so hard on him"

Burt came into the kitchen where Kurt was nervously baking. "Eh, girls don't mind Kurt there's a little battle of wits that him and Blaine like to partake in, thats what true lovers do ya know? Whenever they're in the same room, its all whoa- watch out! it's like oil and water going at it to make vinaigrette." Kurt sighed, his father could be so clueless sometimes. "First of all, Vinaigrette is a mixture of oil and vinegar. Second of all its not a battle of wits if i always in, poor fool can't keep up with me." Kurt laughs, then Puck, Finn, Mike, Sam, Artie and Blaine come bursting in Kurt's home laughing and cheering.

Kurt rushes in to make the first insult. To be honest, Kurt loves being around Blaine, he loves his eyebrows and his hair and his stupid dapper charm with that stupid goofy smile that never fails to make Kurt blush. But he'll never admit that again, too many bad memories.

Kurt had told Blaine he liked him on valentines day about 5 months ago and Blaine rejected him. Kurt Hummel had never had his heart broken worse than on that day, he kept his feelings in a tight little ball from now on, never letting anyone but Rachel and his father know how he truly felt, and even they didn't know that he never truly got over Blaine, he doesn't really want to admit that to himself, either.

Blaine came rushing in, excited from the boys' first gig in a real city. Excited to be able to see Kurt again. Excited to insult him, that is. Blaine can't stand Kurt or his annoying little quirks. He hates how Kurt's mouth makes a perfect dimple when he smiles. He hates how he can never tell if Kurt's eyes are truly green or are they blue? He hates that Kurt always wins their little fights. He hates how Kurt always looks flawless in everything he does. He hates how Kurt can be perfectly innocent but still deviously sexy at the same time. He hates that he fell in love with Kurt too late. He hates that Kurt didn't sing the most beautiful rendition of blackbird before Blaine had rejected him. It was all Kurt's fault for not making Blaine see how amazing he was before it was too late.

"Well if it isn't the prep school hobbit? Who said you're allowed here?" Blaine smiled, he had missed Kurt's witty banter, not that he'd ever admit it.

"You're father actually, how are you Kurt? you look ill, i mean its the middle of july and you still look like a snow nymph"

"Just don't jump on my furniture..." Said Kurt, ignoring the snow nymph comment. Blaine has to get Kurt back for what he just said, he knows but he can't think of anything. He panics.

"Yeah well at least i'm smart enough to know a snow nymph when i see one!" Blaine retorts, obviously struggling. "Wow Blaine.. that the best you've got? and come on, really? I've got a 90 percent average and speak fluent french. you're barely making honor roll and you can barely speak english around me" That part was true, Blaine stumbled upon his words and constantly questioned himself around Kurt. Kurt was the only one able to do that to Blaine, he was always so sure of himself. Until he met Kurt.

"Ha! you speak fluent bitch!" snapped Blaine, then he flinched, hoping he hadn't taken it too far. Apparently he hadn't. Kurt just smiled and replied: "Better to be a bitch than a self absorbed wanna be chav. You couldn't even get that stupid hipster who works at the gap." Kurt was speaking about Jeremiah and Blaine flinched at the comment because it brought back memories of when Kurt and Blaine were best friends, he decided not to mention that he could've had Kurt if he wanted... well five months ago he could've. "I could have any boy i wanted, everyone loves me" Blaine said with a goody smile. Kurt's face didn't math his comment.

"Puh-lease. the only love you're ever going to get is from a payed professional" Kurt was blushing for some reason, but his words had that air of confidence that was just so... Kurt.

"Ha! love is for the weak. I've never loved and i never will." That was a lie. That wasn't even a good lie, dammnit Blaine, get it together!

"Let all the gay men in Ohio and the rest of America rejoice that fact" said Kurt nonchalantly . Then he left, turnign around the corner, triumphant with his winning comments.

Finn enters the room just as Kurt leaves and sees Blaine smiling like a puppy with a bone. "Hey dude!" says Finn, greeting Blaine. "Oh hey Finn, can i help you with something?" and Blaine could help Finn with something, even if Blaine was cold hearted or pretentious sometimes, he was Finn's best friend and he knew that Blaine'd give him a good opinion. "So... whatdoyouthinkofrachel?" said Finn all at once. "Uh.. i don't know, she's ok, why?... Oh don;t tell me you're going to as her out again? she'll just control the hell out of you and turn you into her little robot boyfriend. You don' need a girl right now Finn."

"But.. i love her-"

"Who does Finn love?" inquired puck, coming in with a case of sodas. Blaine jumped at the chance to further humiliate his friend and chimed in saying, "Rachel. Again! jeez Puck knock some sense into Finn here!"

"Actually dude... i think that they'd make a great couple again. they were fine until i effed everything ." "Sorry again" coughed Puck

It was decided that Quinn's annual summer masquerade-quickly-turned-kegger-by-puck party would be the perfect place to set Finn and Rachel up to be a couple again. Puck would pretend to be Finn because Finn was really nervous "Cough-Wuss-Cough" said Blaine, very blatantly. And then Finn and Rachel could be together forever and everything would be happy and puppy dog tales. Little did Blaine know though, that Rachel and Finn weren't the only couple to be set up tonight...

_a/n dun-dun-Duuuun. So here's the first scene in act one. it wasn't supposed to be this long but whatever. review and favourite and junk please! and if you're reading thing thanks for giving it a chance i'll try to update soon. :)


	3. act 1 scene 23 super short

The party was at full swing, music was blaring and mini kegs were being emptied at a rapid pace. Everyone's faces were covered in masks, some very intricate like Kurt's, and some very juvinile like pucks, which was just a dead clown mask from halloween.

Artie sauntered over to Sam who wasn't quite smashed yet, but definitely tipsy. "How are you enjoying the party? " asked Artie. "S'good i guess. i heard Pucks going after Rachel, i never thought he was her type." Artie was extremely surprised at hearing this, since he had thought that tonight was the night Finn was finally going to get Rachel. "What the fuck? you're sure?" "Yeah Santana just texted me saying she saw Puck telling someone that he's gonna tell Rachel he's in love with her"

"That's so weird... poor Lauren." Artie needed a drink after hearing this, McKinley and drama went together like raybans and hipsters. "Yeah, she'll probably knock out Rachel's teeth after finding out" "Oh shit. Poor Rachel" said Sam "Poor Finn" said Artie

Poor everyone. This was starting to be a really shitty party.

"Honestly though dude. I'm not gonna believe it until i see him legit ask her out, but i'm going to warn Rachel so she can really think about it if she wants to go out with Puck, if the rumour is true anyways" slurred Sam. "Whateva bro' imma go get another drink," Said Artie, wheeling away.

(Elsewhere in Sue's Office)

"Becky! We need to make a plan to obliterate the Glee club once and for all" said Sue. Sue had realised that while yes, she may be a different person after certain events, that she can't just give up on what makes her happy. And what makes Sue Sylvester happy? Destroying Glee club of course.

"But coach! its 8 pm and Glee doesn't start until september! plus you're finally in Mr. Shoe's good books, why do you want to hurt them again?"

"Well Becky, to be honest, i'm just naturally a bitter person, and seeing the people close to me in dismay, well it brings a joy to my heart Becky. Also we have to start early if we're going to succeed this time.

"We're never going to succeed Ms. Sylester." "Becky. never is a word for people who don't try. We are people who try, lets get to work."

a/n Hi. sorry this is kind of short, but this part of the play doesn't really suit much for my klaine storyline. There's going to be klaine in the next chapter and i'll try to update soon exams are coming though so after the next few chapters i'll probably have to take a break for a little bit to study. Ok! hope you enjoyed the chapter.

reveiws make me happy :) hinthint.


	4. act 2 scene one masquerade

3 hours earlier

Kurt and the girls were getting ready for Quinn's masquerade. The rest of the girls leave to their respected houses to eat, perfect their hair and outfits etc. That left only Kurt and Rachel to get ready together. after a while, Rachel broke the silence. "Kurt, what do you think is the perfect guy?" Kurt immediately thought 'Blaine, Blaine, Blaine, a million times Blaine' but refrained from actually vocalizing his thoughts. Instead he chose a safer answer. "Huh. i dont know, i guess a happy median between Sam, who's always so shy and withdrawn and Blaine, who's so loud and full of himself it makes me sick." Rachel doesn't exactly believe Kurt's answer but turns the conversation to a different topic out of her curiosity. "Kurt, do you think you'll ever get a boyfriend, get married and have kids?" Kurt laughs and replies saying that he hopes to never be tied down with something like a relationship, or kids for that matter. They'd just get in the way of his Broadway career.

After some more useless banter, the rest of the girls come back to Kurt's place laughing and smiling, reminding Rachel that Puck is supposed to ask her out tonight. Then they head out to the party.

The party ends up being a total kegger, like always, but the masks are taken very seriously and are worn by all. Kurt can immediately spot Blaine, with his crappy hand made mask that looked like a five year old boy with an extra 21st chromosome had made it. God, Blaine was so pathetic, he was already half drunk. He remembered when they were still friends and Blaine went to Rachel's party, got piss drunk then made out with Rachel and had to be taken home by Kurt and then he slept in Kurt's bed. Blaine was a horrid drunk and he wasn't even started yet, why did he come to this party anyway?

All the couples go into corners to make out or dance after about an hour and Kurt can spot puck actually putting the moves on Rachel, wow poor Lauren, he thought. When Kurt took a closer look he realised that puck was actually wearing Finn's mask. Weird, he thought.

Suddenly a drunk Blaine comes up to Kurt and asks him to dance, Kurt pretends to not be able to see that it's Blaine and agrees. "So are you enjoying the party?" Blaine asks. "Oh yeah, i love dancing with strangers at sub classy keggers" states Kurt flirtatiously. "Aha, i get your point, do you know anyone here?" inquires Blaine. "Not really, i'm Quinn's cousin so she had to invite me" lies Kurt. "Oh really? that sucks, well i'm in the same glee club with her, have you ever heard of Blaine anderson?" Asks Blaine, wondering what a stranger might think of him. Kurt smiles inwardly and takes a deep breath, excited to cut down his Blaine a few. wait... did he just say his Blaine? 'of course not', Kurt lies to himself."Blaine anderson? Oh i heard he thinks he's the shit, but he's definitely not. He always makes horrible jokes that no one, and i mean . finds funny. it's kind of sad i guess, but honestly who does this guy think he is? i mean really" Blaine gives him a very hurt look through his mask. "Oh, i'm sorry, is he a friend of yours?' giggles Kurt as he walks away.

In another part of the party, Finn is gazing longingly at how Puck is wooing Rachel. Artie decides to have a little fun with Finn, things were getting too boring now adays.  
>"Hey dude, you don't think he actually wants to.. you know date her?" Finn recoils instantly, defending his friend "Og course not! he'd never do that to... Oh... OH shit! i'm letting him steal Rachel aren't i? first Quinn, now Rachel... again! my life sucks" Artie loves how dumb Finn can be and how easily he jumps to conclusions, it would probably be less funny if he wasn't drunk as a post..<p>

Finn spots Blaine across the yard and goes up to him. "Hey dude" says Finn. "Do you think my jokes are lame?" blurts Blaine. "Um.. no. but i have a more important matter at my hands, puck is totally after Rachel."  
>"What?" bursts Blaine. he knew puck had looked a little too flirty with Rachel for it to be just platonic. Just at that moment puck comes over to his two fuming friends grinning like an idiot.<br>"Hey guys!" says puck, but just as soon as he does Finn pushes him... hard. "What the fuck man?" asks puck. Finn just shoves him again. 'What the fuck? yeah i'd like to ask the same douchebag. first Quinn and now you've taken Rachel from me too? you're officially the worst best friend ever." puck sighs and explains that he was pretending to be Finn the entire time and a... admittedly drunk Rachel totally believed him and now they had a date set up for next friday night at 8 at breadsticks.  
>"Dude! you're officially the best friend ever!" cheers Finn, bring puck into a bearhug. "Sorry about.. um pushing you, Abrams totally getting it when i see him." they all laugh and go back to their drinking. soon enough Blaine is complaining about how mr. shoe forced him to do a duet with Kurt.<p>

"I mean its like, just cause we're the only two out gays doesn't mean that we need to do a duet together, and of course its some shitty broadway thing, gypsy or funny girl or maybe caberet, i don't fucking know! talk about a living breathing stereotype! and i begged, i mean BEGGED mr. shoe to let me do the duet with someone, anyone else. i told him i'd rather be sent to haiti and do a crappy rendition of Wavin Flag to a bunch of starving black kids then sing even a note with that... Diva. But of course he wouldn't budge. Stupid glee club" rambled Blaine. "Dude you're so in love" says puck, Blaine just huffs and walks away to talk to Mercedes.

"All this finchel romance is making me depressed, i'm never gonna have a boyfriend" says Kurt to puck. "Hey! i'd totally go gay for you! any guy that wouldn't is an idiot" said puck, Kurt gave him a face because he seemed half serious. "Ha! thanks puck, but i'll pass, you're too strait and in love with Zizses for me" winked Kurt. Kurt and Blaine leave the party separetly, but early. The rest of the glee kids join together.

"So, we need to get Kurt to stop being so butthurt over valentines day a million years ago. Blaine's obviously head over heels for the guy" said puck "and Kurt obviously loves Blaine too!" slurred Rachel. "I think we need to get them together." stated Brittany. Everyone looked at her with a face of 'duh' plastered on. "Well yeah... but how? they're both too proud to ever admit it." said Finn. "Uh-Oh..." said Sam. "what?" they all said in unison. "Guys i think i know how we're gonna have to get them together" everyone looked at Sam with a quizzical look as he popped out his cellphone.

"Wes? David? the new directions are going to need your help with something... "  
>Operation Get Kurt and Blaine Together To Have Gabies has now commenced.<p>

a/n kso i love this play so so much. i've read it a million times. I played Beatrice once and its still one of my favourite roles. I hope you like the including of wes and david. Even though its not canon to much ado i think its needed in any good klaine conquest story. Tell me whatcha think.  
>I love reviews :)<p> 


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